I’ve been craving fresh air lately. I just want to go outside, breathe in hard and fill my lungs up with fresh, clean air. City air is killing me. My lungs are probably black and I don’t even smoke. I think the nastiest air might be in my own little Queens neighborhood- especially in the summer. And no I’m not talking about garbage. I’m talking about dog piss. Almost everyone in the city has a dog and that results in A LOT of dog piss. And dog piss smell doesn’t go away. I think it’s actually worse than dog poo. It sits there on the sidewalk and lingers. It’s so bad on the sidewalk near my apartment building that my superintendent has to hose it down everyday, sometimes twice a day. I’ll happily walk outside my building on a Saturday afternoon and get suffocated by the foul smell and want to puke. I’d like to stand on a glacier and breathe in, or a huge empty field somewhere upstate New York and just breathe for like :30 minutes. I work in Manhattan and it has to be one of the stinkiest cities in the world. All the cars and trucks and buses and their exhaust- yuck. I’m surprised all that stink isn’t affecting my brain, well maybe it is and I just haven’t caught on yet cause I’m slow due to the stink. Wednesday is trash night in the city. That’s always a special walk for me. Sidewalks covered with garbage. Bums knee deep in trash looking for cans. The stench sizzling out the tops of the piles. It’s amazing how the smell comes and goes. It floats up to your face then disappears as you quickly walk away from the offending garbage pile. Until, SMACK it hits you again as you walk down the next block with its heaping garbage pile. Maybe it’s just me but I find that way more men are wearing cologne these days. And I think women are wearing less perfume. I personally don’t like a guy that wears cologne. I like the raw man smell- HA. Um I once invited a guy back to my apartment that wore like a freakin bottle of cologne. He stank, his car stank, and I’m sure his house stank (never went there). So anyway, he sat on my couch with me…blah, blah, blah and after he left my couch stank like his cologne for like three days! And I didn’t even like him that much and I was stuck smelling his yucky cologne, being reminded of him. How about bad breath? Ever kiss someone with bad breath? I have. It’s basically like eating poo. Sorry to be so vulgar. I’ve also sat next to someone on a bus with bad breath- for five hours! And that person fell asleep with his mouth open. I wanted to toss a few tic tacs in there. Sooooo I really need some fresh, crisp clean air. I can keep going- dirty bums on the subway that crapped themselves, people farting or that just have bad BO on the subway, nasty public bathrooms, etc. I gotta get out of this city.