So here’s a few things I got out of Buddhism that have really helped me:

Suffering- Everyone’s suffering. The asshole guy at work that gave me problems- well originally I probably would of thought he was a big fat asshole and that’s that. Well now I can see deeper and see that well, maybe he’s an asshole because his wife is sick or maybe he was supposed to get a promotion and he didn’t. So I guess I’ve become more patient with people.

Hope as an obstacle- You can’t go on hoping for things. You can’t live in the future. You have to live in the NOW (I’m guessing everyone’s heard that before). You have to make the best out of your present situation. Step by step.

Impermanence- Everything’s changing. Which is good to think about when you’re in a crappy situation. Cause sometimes you can feel really stuck.

Attachment- This term I’m a little back and forth with but. Basically it means not getting too attached to things because I guess things come to an end and then you find yourself in misery. Your boyfriend breaks up with you and life as you know it is over. Well, maybe it’s painful but maybe you also have to find happiness in yourself. And once you have that confidence and happiness, your life won’t revolve around that guy. But also it’s nice to be attached I’d like to eventually be attached…

And meditation. I’ve welcomed that in my life. It centers me and slows things down.

So I really like the whole “psychological” aspect of Buddhism. But there’s just one little thing I have a problem with. The whole – have compassion for every sentient being. Which besides knowing your own mind/self, is the other HUGE side of Buddhism. I’m not a mean person but I’ve really thought about it and I don’t think I want rays of compassionate white light flying out of my ears. I want to say how much I despise New York City pigeons and that I hope they all die. And the weird people that feed them everyday, well I don’t hope they die but they are freaks and weirdos and I want to be able to say so. The girl that dresses like a hooker everyday in my apartment building- well, why should I hide my true feelings about her. I like to bitch and kvetch and complain. That’s who I am.

Hey, through this process I definitely have I become more compassionate. I used to HATE when I found a seat on the subway and then someone would see the open seat next to me and sit down. I used to be like- ugh, their gross jacket’s ganna touch me, etc. But now, oddly, I’m like-please, have a seat. You’re probably tired also and need to rest your feet. But I will say- fine, let them sit down, but if they stink or are gross, I’m not ganna hold that in. I’m ganna kvetch about it.

So maybe I’m just not ready to become a devout Buddhist. I’m just human. I have a lot of compassion but I’m not about to become the Dali Lama. Maybe I’ll just go back to being a Reform Jew. Sigh.

Maybe that original bus will come back around if you wait. But you can’t wait forever or you’ll get nowhere.

Script treatment for cinematic version of ‘The Hilariously Fucked up Life of Sipora’

(some portions dramatized for the screen)

Fade up on a video edit room on the 50th floor of Time Warner Center. We see that it is a corner office with ceiling high windows overlooking Columbus Circle and Central Park.

Pan from behind a monitor reveals the editor, Billy, played by Robert Downey Jr editing on a sleek workstation. He has sunglasses on and seriously cool looking bed head. Over his shoulder, we see Anna Paquin with her feet up on the desk. She’s wearing Uggs, a mini skirt and and a barely buttoned white shirt that leaves little to the imagination. They are both sweating and seem to be in a pressure packed moment of the day.

Sipora: Hey Billy, when the hell are they going to fix the air conditioning? It must be 120 degrees in here. I think I may have to take off my boots. You don’t mind, do you?

Billy spins around in his chair and lights a cigarette. He pulls down his shaded slightly.

Billy: (intensely) You do what you have to do to survive, Sipora. All I know is that we’ve gotta get these tags done before 5pm or it’s both our asses.

Sipora: Then what are you wasting time talking to me for?

She kicks off both her Uggs, revealing perfectly pedicured feet.

Sipora: Tag it and bag it, Billy.

She picks up the phone and dials.

Sipora: Intern? I need you to bring me a tall glass of ice water immediately.

She slams the phone down and launches the Photobooth application on her laptop.

Billy: Her name is Kadisha.

Sipora: The hell do I care?! She’ll be out of here in 2 months and there’ll just be another body to take her place. I only hope that intern will know how to get me the right screeners on time.

Billy: You’ve got a very unique outlook on life, you know that, sister?

Sipora: Are you done yet, Billy?

Her laptop flashes white a few times. She strikes a few come hither poses and then makes some silly faces.

Sipora: there’s this YouTube video of a horse getting jerked off that I think you might like.

Billy: you are so hilariously fucked up.

Sipora gets up and walks over to Billy as he continues tagging.  She whispers seductively into his ear.

Sipora: All this web surfing is making me hungry

Billy: oh yeah?

Sipora: oh yeah.

She gets even closer to his ear, almost touching it with her lips.

Sipora: Benvenuto or Hale & Hearty’s?

Billy licks his lips and takes another drag.

Billy: You know what I want. It’s been so god damn long.

Sipora (smiles): Moon…cake?

She takes the cigarette out of Billy’s mouth and takes a drag.

Sipora: Sure. I’ll have the cilantro steak. Well done. Come on and check out this horse.

One of my favorite quotes: Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. – William Jennings Bryan

Sayuri- “I had to wonder if men were so blinded by beauty that they would feel privileged to live their lives with an actual demon, so long as it was a beautiful demon.”

p.s I’ve attached a sexy pic of Sookie and Eric.