Morning subway rides are usually very zen for me. I listen to music, drink my coffee, and read my book. Now that’s if I get a seat…and luckily I usually do. But on a rare occasion there just may not be enough seats for everyone. So some are stuck standing. It’s truly an amazing phenomenon- watching women on the subway waiting for a seat to open up. And yes, I am one of those women. We step in the car, realize there are no seats, and take a good guess who might be getting up next and hover over them. It’s the predator stalking it’s prey. And of course all of the standing ladies are eyeing each other, the competition, and ready to pounce into the first open seat. And that is exactly what happens. A seat opens and the nearest woman jumps her ass in that open seat. Now many times two women will go for the same seat and someone has to look like the bigger woman and say “oh you can sit here”, obviously pissed off wearing a fake smile. But it truly is amazing- the women standing, the tension building in the car. And forget about men without a seat, they have no chance in hell.

I walked into Victoria’s Secret today looking for a new bra. This 70 year old sales woman asked me if I needed help. She led me over to a table of bras saying “This is the bra that I wear”. And….I bought the bra…hmm.

I love this time of year. The weather gets so invigorating. September-October has always felt more like the “New Year” than December (Yes, I realize it is the Jewish New Year, but this is the first time I am really thinking about it). The fresh, crisp, cool air awakens me. New York is good in the Fall, especially at night. September is the new school year and that will always be ingrained in me. New backpack, new clothing, what’s not to love?! Halloween is basically my “New Years Party”.  I’ve always enjoyed Halloween. I hope when I’m 40 I’ll be married to a hot man and will be living in a big lovely house or fabulous duplex apartment and I will throw a grand Halloween party…every year! Hey…I can dream. I mean, does anyone actually enjoy running around in 20 degree weather in the dead of winter…at midnight!? Not I. There’s nothing new about January 1^st. It’s nice…peaceful, and quiet. Good for snuggling and hot cocoa. But September is new.

I have started reading. Books. This is like the biggest change I have made in my life since I moved out of my fathers house. I was never a big reader. Although, I have many great childhood memories of books that I had read and truly loved. I think it all went downhill when I was in high school. I was forced to read…and then write about what I had read…and read books that I was not too interested in. So I guess that’s when it became a drag. Also, textbooks. Now that is basically torture. From the time school ended till about a month ago, I shunned books. I was in love with my ipod and had a subscription to New York Magazine that I hardly read, except for the Approval Matrix. I went through a three year period of buying DVDs and trying to become a movie connoisseur- which has not turned out that well (but I’m still trying). I now own about 30 DVDs that I will most likely never watch again….oh well. Getting back to the book topic- My father gave me a copy of Marley and Me at a time when life was pretty shitty. He said “you’ll love it! It’s so funny. You’ll laugh…” I started reading the book in December and finally finished it I think in May. It was a cute book, I admit. But it was no page turner. I needed a good page turner to kick start my reading career. So I bought the book Eat Pray Love (I was told young ladies like myself enjoyed it). I loved it. It wasn’t really a page turner, but it was super inspiring. I think it took me about three weeks to finish it. The next book I bought I was actually embarrassed to read in public- The Da Vinci Code. I was embarrassed because everyone on earth has already read this book- except me. But I finished that bad boy in two weeks! I felt so accomplished. I didn’t love the book, but I liked it, and it was definitely a page turner. The next book I read was a book I had started but never finished- The Celestine Prophecy. I wanted to finish reading it, so I could put it behind me. I restarted it. And…ugh..it was bad. And it was a New York Times best seller. It was bad, but I just finished it today. A total of 11 days. I did read it a bit quick…just to get it over with. Did I mention how much I love browsing book stores? I always have loved strolling through the local Barnes and Noble. Even when I didn’t read. I would usually end up buying some sort of self help book, never really fully reading it, just flipping through it, reading the parts that interested me. I bought The Rules too…yeah…that’s an interesting book. I basically have a mini self help library in my apartment. But now, NOW, I will have real books! I’m so excited! I already like looking at my book shelf and seeing all the (well the 4) books I have read. It feels like I am exposed to a new type of food. Like if I had never tried seafood or Indian. So many books! So many I am excited to read. And my shpeal is now done. I’m of to read my new book Netherland ☺

I am wondering why toilet paper only comes in one size. And I’m not talking about one ply or two ply. How come homes can’t have super size rolls like in public bathrooms? I’m not too keen on the roughness of public bathroom TP, but imagine a huge roll of say…Charmin or Cottonelle? I go through about one roll of Cottonelle in about 3- 4 days. If I have a house guest, that time gets cut in half. And if I’m not feeling well, then, um…Anyways, a super size roll in the home would be fantastic! I mean, how annoying is it when you’re doing your business and the roll runs out! Is there a new roll near by? How the hell do I put the roll on the holder, etc. Someone needs to seriously start marketing designer super size TP holders for home bathrooms. It would cut down on a lot of wasted time changing TP rolls. I mean come on, seriously.

I think I’m becoming a weird cat/animal person….and I don’t even have an animal. I’ve started emailing my friends and colleagues cute cat pictures and youtube videos. What is wrong with me! I swear, up until about 5 months ago I hated, I repeat- HATED cats. (one day I’ll tell my evil cat story) I’ve always been more of a “dog person”. Although, I can’t fathom having my own dog because I would be forced to pick up its shit. I had a dog growing up but she “went” in her designated poopy area in the backyard. No pooper scooping for me. I will also mention I am not too hip on cleaning up cat litter either. But something has changed inside. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older and need to pop out a kid soon (I don’t know)….But now whenever I see a dog or a cat (and yes sometimes a small child) I turn into super mushy Sipora. It’s disgusting. I disgust myself. I can actually see myself owning a little critter. But alas, my studio apartment is too small. There’s no place for a litter box. And no I’m not putting one in my bathroom or kitchen. No thanks on the shit/piss smell. So I guess I will have to wait a few more years, when I get a bigger apartment or a house. Maybe, in the meantime, I will fulfill my original idea and get a…newt.

Cat Spanking

I felt so “New Yorker Cool” today. About a month ago I was walking around the Upper East Side and this young guy stops me on the street. Now I usually get pissed off when people stop me, ask me for directions, etc, because I’m usually wearing my headset listening to music. Why don’t they stop and ask someone else who is not “busy”. Anyway, this dude stops me. He doesn’t have a bag with him (which is odd for any New Yorker not to have, especially in rush hour), but he’s dressed pretty normal. So, he stops me and starts talking. I take off my headset and give the “what the hell do you want with a smile” look.  I honestly don’t remember exactly what the hell he was saying but it was along the lines of- “Hi…how are you” (taking his sweet time) “I’m not from around here blah blah blah and need bus fare” This is when it hits me- This A-hole is just hustling me. Taking advantage of a sweet young lady! He just wants my money! I then smile, say “sorry” and walk away. Ugh. OY So what happened today?!! I was walking again on the Upper East Side with my headset on and this very same dude walks up to me, in the very same – “Hello miss, how are you” manner. What did I do? I looked at him, recognized him, put my hand up, shook my head, and walked away….without removing the headset. Damn hustler! But I felt so cool that I already knew his little trick. Like, – Bitch, don’t fuck with me. I’m a fast talking, fast walking New Yorker!

So today after work I had a quick drink in the “Jewlishous” Murray Hill, NYC.  About 98% of the time whenever I visit Murray Hill, I will usually see someone I went to high school with. At the bars, on the street, in a store, wherever.  This is because for some reason, the people I went to high school with all migrated to Murray Hill. I don’t know why. Anyway, this evening was different. It was weird and slightly disturbing. As I walked across 3rd Ave at 32nd St., I saw a dude I recognized. First I was like- where the hell do I know this guy from? Nope, I did not go to high school with him. No, I never worked with the guy. No, I never went on a date with him either!…Hmmmm….Hmmmmm….Ahhhhhhhh! Yes! He just got married to a girl I went to high school with and they just got back from their honeymoon! Awwwww, isn’t that sweet! And how do I know this you ask? Because I freakin saw the pictures someone posted on Facebook!  I am “friends” with a girl who is friends with this dude’s woman. Get it?  Anyway, this poor guy had no idea who I was. But I knew who he was. Oh boy! I knew his last name, I saw his engagement party pictures, I basically met his family. It’s a very odd and disturbing feeling.  I feel kinda dirty for knowing these things. Like a weird peeping Tom. oy