Archive for the ‘boyz’ Category

Man Uggs!

November 11th, 2010 by Sipora | No Comments | Filed in boyz, deep thoughts, pix

I recently purchased my first pair of Uggs! (Yes, I actually had the money this year. I’m really moving up in this world.) Black, tall, and extra comfy. They really are super awesome. They’re basically outdoor slippers. When I get home I usually kick off my shoes but the Uggs stay on, my feet engulfed in their furry warmness- that sounds dirty, hmmm. Now my question is- How come I don’t see men wearing Uggs? There’s nothing feminine about them. And they’re marketed to men too. Men really need to take advantage of them! I’ve noticed that many people are against men wearing Uggs- saying they’re gay, sissy, blah blah blah. I think a REAL man would wear Uggs. I’d be all over a guy that sported some hot Uggs. I totally encourage this comfy fashion statement. I’ve posted a pic of Petey, my dad’s bird, sitting on my new Uggs and a bunch of men wearing Uggs.

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8c943_man-uggs-6Ben Affleck Men UGGs UGG Bootsmanuggsmen-in-ugg-3

POF II

November 9th, 2010 by Sipora | 2 Comments | Filed in boyz

I have decided to take a hiatus from online dating. I know, I know, what ever will I do with my time? I guess I’ll have to find something actually productive to do. Hmmmm. I’ve previously blogged about some of the special guys that have written to me. Well here’s some more. Please note that I have not changed anything- spelling, writing style, etc. Yes, people really are this special…….

-Dpwarner- Hay sexy contact me

-TW80-  Hi Sb**. My name is Tim and I think that I am the man for you. You say you like chocolate. I am chocolate. You say you like Mad Men. I can be madly in love with you. And you say you like Lost. I am lost for words when it comes to expressing how beautiful you are. Let’s talk and explore the possibilities. That would be really nice. Tim

-Primbud-   Hello SB,

It’s nice to meet you. I liked your straight-forward and hopeful profile. I also found it cute you put “some bad tv” along with “good tv” in your interests. I am an honest, patient and loyal educator in Queens. Others, females (all this year), have described me as:

-”warm”

-”very thoughtful”

-”so cute”/”handsome”/”cute”

-”sensitive”

-”intelligent” …

If you like my profile, I look forward to your response. Have a pleasant weekend.

-TW80- Hello Ms. Sbny. This is Timmy, the guy that is craving your attention. That is a nice picture right there with you having a drink, but it can be even better if I’m on the other end of that table.lol. Honestly, you are beautiful. Let’s talk and be friends.

P.S. Don’t worry if things sky rocket between you and I, I am ready and willing to convert. Timmy

-Artsystuff- You’re very pretty. I’d love to go down on you.

Best,

Aaron

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST…

-Bigmuzcles- wow you are gorgous, like big fun muscular guys I hope

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Vampire Porn

July 24th, 2010 by Sipora | No Comments | Filed in boyz, deep thoughts

Wow it’s been such a long time since I’ve blogged. I really do apologize to all my fans out there (ha). I thought that I loved the show Lost. I invested hours and hours of my time into it. I mean that show was on for like, what, 7 years? Geesh. But I didn’t know what “love” really was. I used to watch so much tv when I was a kid. That’s probably why I was so anti social, eh hem. But anyways, as I got older and especially this year I’ve moved from watching tv to reading. I’m really blossoming into a mature woman-books! But because I work in the tv world I really need to start watching more tv, sigh. So! My favorite, most loved show is True Blood on HBO. OMG I could have sex with this show. It’s sooooo good. What is it about? Vampires. Vampires having sex. Lots of sex. And the story line’s good too. It really is an acceptable form of porn for women. We can talk about the show without sounding like pervs, but we all really know that this show is mostly about sex. I’ve been told I look like Anna Paquin- the leading lady, Sookie. So that doesn’t hurt my fantasies of me vicariously living through her (on the show of course, I don’t care about her in real life….um well maybe I do. She’s dating her Vampire lover on the show in real life- bitch). Ah Bill her sexy older Vampire lover. So hot that Bill. I’ve recently actually branched out to dating hot sexy older men because of Bill. But, older guys are no different then guys my age, except that they have wayyyyy more issues. Anyways! The tangents, the tangents. Then there’s Vampire Eric. Mm Mm Mm. All the gals I know love Eric. My favorite type of boy- blond with a fabulous bod. I could just eat him alive. And I won’t forget Jason. He’s not a vampire but he’s super dumb, blond, and really cute. Can you tell I have a thing for blonds? So…. True Blood is on Sundays. HBO is great cause if you miss a show you can watch it On Demand the next day. But HELL NO. I’ve only missed the live airing once and that was due to a work commitment. And you know the first thing I did when I got home was watch! Every Sunday night at 9 you now know where you can find me. Please don’t call me during that time. I’ll accept texts only because throughout the episode my cousin and I send each other messages about how amazing a certain sex scene was or how we each want a piece of Eric. But only texts about the show. Don’t waste my time.

p.s I’ve attached a sexy pic of Sookie and Eric.

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POF

January 10th, 2010 by Sipora | 4 Comments | Filed in boyz

So there’s this new dating site- Plenty of Fish.com and it’s totally “Free”. I decided to post a pic of myself and write a little profile after a few friends told me about the site and that my self esteem would go waaaayyyyy up because you get tons of emails. Now who doesn’t like a little self esteem boosting?! I decided to put up just one pic of me- a super sexy one- just for fun. Boy, do the emails come pouring in! I would like to share a few lines written to me and also some pictures of the hot studs that have sent me emails. Sadly I deleted a lot of the good emails…before I knew I would blog about this. I will post more when I get them :) Enjoy!!!

(note- I just copied and pasted)

Salacioustongue wrote: Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Rafikmichael wrote: i see verey nice photo i want to be friend with you i can

FunIslandGuy (52 yrs old btw) wrote: I love film and writing. I am in SAG. I would like to talk to you about anything.

Man Legs

June 23rd, 2009 by Sipora | 4 Comments | Filed in boyz, kvetching

What’s the deal with men sitting “spread eagle” on the subway?  Seriously, all men sit like this. They think the subway seat is their personal couch and I’m their little wife sitting next to them that they can knock their big fat knees into. Maybe it’s an instinctual thing. Like “you want a piece of this!”  “I’m a man, watch me grunt and show off all my glory!” Okay that was kinda gross, sorry. Anyways, when men sit with their legs totally spread out they take up not one but two whole seats. And they don’t care. Or they’re just too stupid to know that they’re taking up someone else’s leg space.  Like I said- all men! Young, old, blue collar, white collar, fat, skinny- all of them. I especially love when a man sits in the middle seat. So he’s in the middle with both of his legs totally spread out. So now both people on either side of him have to either knock knees or scrunch themselves to the edge of their seats, like I do. I do not want any nasty man legs touching mine, no thanks. Keep em closed, fellas!

Dating

February 19th, 2008 by Sipora | 2 Comments | Filed in boyz, kvetching

Being 26, fabulous, and single I have decided it’s only logical that I start “dating”. Every time I talk to one of my girlfriends she always has a date planned. So I asked her- what’s your secret? Online dating, ta-da! OY. Ok, at first it seemed a little ridiculous to me. Maybe desperate. But the more I talked about it with people, the more I found out that a lot of people are doing it and many of my friends (male and female) are on a service. So I am not ashamed to say I have posted up a pic, and started “dating”.

Date 1: Nice, tall, yucky finger nails- not for me
Date 2: Nice, short, smallish features…kinda jocky-ish- not for me
Date 3: Good…
Date 4: Ridiculous
Ok. This guy was one of my top picks so I was actually looking forward to meeting him. His pics showed that he was tall, blond, my age, and one of the local “favorites”- I’ll call him James. Before we met and before we talked on the phone he wanted to chat online. Fine. And his IM name- EmperorJames. That should have been a clue to what kind of guy this is. So maybe he was a little cocky… He drove in from Long island to meet me at this lounge in Queens on a Friday. Half an hour late he walked in all frazzled saying how sorry he was for being late and that he was speeding and got a ticket blah blah blah- whatever. He looked like his pictures but I could tell the pics online were old. He looked very post- frat boy. So we sat and talked- he did most of the talking. Ok fine- he was decent. He asked me if I wanted to go somewhere else. Sure. We ended up at another lounge and being the light weight that I am, I started to get a bit drunk. Here we go. In the middle of him talking he stops and says “I have a question for you. Can I kiss you”? It was definitely awkward but because I had a few drinks in me I said sure. Thinking back now- GROSS. Yuck. Ew. He gets up to use the bathroom. Comes back 30 seconds later and says the line is long. “Can I use the bathroom in your apartment?” Thankfully I still had some sense in me and said “ummm the lines not that long”. I mean, give me a break. This guy thought he was ganna get some action. I’m sure he gets lots from other desperate online gals, but no thanks, not I. Two days later EmperorJames IMs me. We chat and he makes jokes about how I couldn’t take my hands off him. Ha…ha…he’s my buddy again. I guess I’ll go on a second date with him. A few days later I’m at work (actually busy) and he calls me. I let it go to voicemail. “Hi it’s James can you call me, I have a question for you” Ummmm I’m busy. About twenty minutes after he left the voicemail he IMs me. WTF. IM- Hi. Can I call you? It will only take five minutes. Fine. He was working at a home improvement store and didn’t meet his quota for signing people up for home improvements. (I thought he owned a company that set up charity events..hmm)
James: “Can you call this number, tell them you own your apartment, and want to set up an appointment to talk about renovating your home. In three days I’ll call you to remind you to cancel. It would really help me out.”
Me: “Um, I’m at work now and really don’t have time for this, call me later”
Who does that? I met him once. He should of asked his mom or a friend. Don’t ask a girl you went on one date with and wanted to “pee” in her apartment. I immediately blocked him from my cell phone and from my IM. Bye bye EmperorJames. And to top it all off, he texted me later that night and said he didn’t need my help anymore but thanks and he wouldn’t be offended if I gave him a call. PLEASE!

This “dating” thing is time consuming and people are just plain weird. I’m now going on a short dating hiatus and will start up again maybe mid March. Luckily I’m not too turned off by what happened. Dating…

Ruth Ann- Drive

Pickup Lines

August 23rd, 2007 by Sipora | No Comments | Filed in boyz

My new favorite pickup lines:

“If you were a fly, I’d land on you, ‘cuz you’re the SHIT.”
“Our love is like diarreha, i just cant hold it in”
“Did you just fart? ‘Cause you blew me away.”
“Are you a Virtual Drive? ‘Cause I’d love to mount you on my desktop.”
“If I call your left leg Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit between the holidays?”
“Hey, baby want to Squeeze my Theorem while I poly your nomial?”
“Baby you are so fine you turn my software into hardware.”

Best Cat Call I actually really got:
“God bless America!”

The National- Lit Up