Quick Rundown

Here’s a quick rundown of my super exciting weekend in the Hamptons LI:

Celebrity Sighting Saturday

Being a human being means that at all times you will be bombarded with advertisements in every corner of your life. So as my cousin and I drove down a road in the Hamptons we couldn’t help but notice a huge bus covered in an ad for the new USA show Royal Pains. And who was in the ad on the huge bus? Ummm we forgot his name. That guy um he was on that show and in that movie. Whatever, he was hot we made note of that fact and continued on our way. Being the fat bastards that we are, we decided to stop and get some ice cream. So we’re sitting there in the shop and who the fuck walks in?!!?? Who you ask! THAT GUY!!! THAT GUY!! And yes he was THAT HOT. We totally played it cool, just quick glances. He, by odd chances walked into the same ice cream shop with his kids and woman. WEIRD! Mark Feuerstein- look him up.  Five bucks if you can guess his son’s name.

Subway Sunday

Being the cheap fat bastards that we are, my cousin and I decided to get a “healthy” sandwich from the chain restaurant Subway. There’s not much I can say about Subway. You’ve been to one, you’ve been to them all. 4 slices of meat, 2 of cheese, a few veggies and olives. “Ummmm excuse me, can I have some more olives?” Three more olives are added. Okay, I’ve learned you can’t get upset at this. It’s just the way Subway is. After all it is cheap- 5 dollar foot long (sing it). So anyway, this Subway experience was by far the worst experience I have ever had in any eating establishment. The “Sandwich Artist” rang up my sub and then walked around from behind the counter. This nasty bitch was not wearing any shoes! It was the nastiest thing I have ever seen. AND she had a nasty blue bandaid on her toe! WTF! It was truly nastier than Britney Spears barefoot in a public bathroom. Just thinking about this makes me ill.